Midnight

Midnight skating sessions with my friends is something I always look forward to when its a full moon, but this month I dont really feel like skating. I am currently sitting on a bench watching my friends skate, seeing their faces makes everything better. My friends are my rocks and the people I depend on the most, and I hope they feel the same way about me. Tonight though or today I dont know if I want to open up to them, everything just feels perfect. Its summer, Im going to Alaska next week, no school, friends, family, and work is even fun, but the thing is I think too much when Im around them. All I can think about is will they help me and not look at me differently? I lost one of my best friends because I told her I was bisexual, I lost a friend because I told her that her boyfriend was cheating on her, I lost a friend because she decided to listen to the rumors and not the truth that came out of my mouth. I've lost friends when I shouldnt have, Ive lost friends who I still wish I had. None of them know about my blog, sometimes I wish they did so they know whats going through their minds. Im the mother in our group of friends, a mom is suppose to be strong and not have to break down infront of everyone. But if they ask "what's up?" and we're alone. I deff might break down and just let everything come out. I know I can depend on them and I love them for it.
I dont know, i'll probably pick up my apex soon and start skating, it always helps when I have my moods like this. Maybe I'll be more calm and be able to talk to everyone. we'll see

nightnight or morning