random

i vent way too much here

what im thinking

This year is my last year in high school, I am an okay student, cant do a lot of sports because of my shoulder and actually enjoys certain kinds of community service. Im going to the community college here and right here and right now I wish I actually applied to the other schools i wanted to go to. Family is always important to me...or rather one member in my family was really important to me...and on the 27th of last month i lost her. Elizabeth "Betty" Shinagawa was the most important person to me in my life, she was like a mother to me, my teacher, and just grandma. I miss her like crazy, its weird not having her around. Freshman year was great for me, my swimming got a lot better and i was about to try out for our schools swim team, and try out for the paddling team. But as soon as i have all that to look forward to... my grandma tells me she has cancer, she said they had just found it before it could spread so her treatment wouldnt be so bad as other patients. was that a load of crap. my grandma was diabetic, and the radiation didnt make it any better. there was so much shit happening to such a wonderful person who enjoyed life soo much.

For a quick backround of my grandma, she is one out of six, had three kids, and 7 grandchildren and her mother, my great grandma just turned 103 this month. She was married for 54 years, has been to disney land five times, disney world once, tokyo disney land 4 times been to Korea, Las Vegas, New york and soo many other places I wish i could have gone with her.

In Sophmore year things looked better they looked a lot better for me. when my grandma was in recovery I met an incredible guy named Jake Hanabishi. His grandma had gone through almost the same situation as my grandma had, and that gave us an instant connection to each other. I fell for him and he fell for me we lasted 6 months together until he had to move away.

to be continued in part two....

wow xD

So I have been trying to save money for my trip to new york in march, and to do that I havent bought any books since december. I was at the mall last night with my dad and we decide to go into barnes and nobles, when i get to the teen section I instanly find four or five books that I WANT!!! I would just go to the library and borrow them but the waiting list for all the books that I want is ridiculous. So maybe after march and maybe after prom I will get back to reading. Did I mention that my grades in school arent doing that great too? =P well its okay, i know it could be better i just have to stop being so lazy.

I plan on getting the books

1. Gone by Lisa Mcmann
2. i cant remember the name...but the author was larrissa Ione
3. A book by Carrie Jones
4. and i cant remember the other book..

I fail at remember the names of the books i want, but oh well

Books read in 2009

So hopefully these are all the books that Ive read in 2009.

1. Fade
2. Leaving Paradise
3. Darkest Whisper
4. Two way street
5. Hush Hush
6. Catching Fire
7. Shiver
8. Blood Promise
9. Intertwine
10. Claymore(manga)
11. Grendel
12. Fire
13. Ravemaster (manga)
14. Akumetsu (manga)
15. Blue Kiss
16. Blue Moon
17. Dark Warrior Unleashed
18. Dark Warrior Unbroken
19. Chronicles of Vladimir Tod: Tenth Grade Slays
20. Bloodfever
21. Dreamfever
22. Faefever
23. Dream Feaver
24. Pleasure Unbound
25. Desire Unchained
26. Passion Unleashed
27. Chronicles of Vladimir Tod: Eighth Grade Bites
28. Chronicles of Vladimir Tod: Ninth grades Bleeds
29. Stealing Heaven
30. Wake
31. Mai-Hime (manga)
32. The God Box
33. Rick and Bobo
34. Reincarnation
35. Strange Angels
36. Yume De Aetera (manga)
37. Midnight Secretary
38. My sisters Keeper
39. Inner light: The Dragon within
40. Lover Awakened
41. Winter Queen
42. Dragons Fire
43. One Piece(manga)
44. The Duende and the Muse
45. Web of Deciet
46. Waiting for You
47. Ashes of Midnight
48. Raven
49. City of Glass
50. Kissing Annabel
51. Dark Lover
52. Lover Eternal
53. Lover Revealed
54. Lover Unbound
55. Lover Enshrined
56. Crank
57. Suzuka (manga)
58. Parallel (manga)
59. In your room
60. Cracked up to be
61. The Wave
62. Stargazer
63. Evermore
64. Kiss of Fate
65. Warrior Princess
66. Perfect Chemistry
67. Bleach (manga)
68. Bleed
69. Need
70. Bloom
71. Evernight
72. Impossible
73. Ink Exchange
74. Midnight Veil
75. Darkness Unknown
76. Deadly Little Secrets
77. What would Emma Do
78. What my mother doesnt Know
79. What my Girlfriend doesnt know
80. One of those hideous books where the mother dies
81. Girl in the Arena
82. Winter Kiss
83. Demon King
84. The Covet
85. Stray
86. Darkest Kiss
87. Way of the Shadow
88. Shadows Edge
89. Beyond the Shadow
90. Jennifer Governmeny
91. Fragile Eternity
92. Deadly little Lies
93. Demon Kiss
94. Dragon Heir
95. Shadowland
96. Audrey wait
97. Naruto (manga)
98. Kiss of Fire
99. Kiss of Fury
100. A little friendly advice

That should be all the books I read in 2009 =] cant wait to see what i read this year

NEW YEAR!!!

Just wanted to say Happy New Year from Hawaii!!! hope this year will be A LOT better than last year!! I read 100 books this year, which i will post later on. I have been playing with fireworks for the past 4 hours, i smell of smoke, im gonna shower dry my hair and go to sleep!!! Good morning everyone!!!

Another venting moment

So about an hour ago i swear everyone was fcking yelling at me that i dont care about the people in this house anymore, or I just dont appreciate what I have. Now usually when im in this kind of situation i just shut up and suck it up, but tonight i just exploded. If your a follower and have read my stuff before you know i complain like a pro, all i do is nag and nag. honestly..lately thats all ive been getting from my mom and my family or ive been doing it back. I just dont give a shit anymore for what happens to three certain people in my family, anyone want to guess who they are?... hey you got that right. I dont give a shit to what happens to my mom or my two younger sisters at this moment, they are out of my mind. Why try to get a parents respect when they dont give it to you, why try to act like a good teacher when your students arent even looking or plan on looking. Why try you know? Im just gonna focus on the people who i know need me and at least give me respect that i have gained or earned.

My grandmas not gettting better everyone. I dont know what to do. I never have and probably never will. When I look at her, my heart breaks to see the person i love more in the world so sick. My grandma has to take her medication every four hours, im not really sure what happens if she misses a time and i dont want to find out. So if you see me in person, i look like shit. Im there everytime my grandma has to take her medicine, im there when she needs me. Im just praying that with me being there its making it easier on her.

Next month my relatives are moving in. There is room in the house for them, and the reason their coming here is to help my grandma. How can I complain about that? But here I am writing. Its hard enough with seven people in the house but now its going to be ten. Oh the joy of having to clean the house more as punishment my mother gives me, Oh the joy of them having to endure more of my moms shit about how much she hates me and her life. Just Oh the joy.

So after my explosion on my family, i grabbed my laptop, cell phone and my wallet and am now sitting under a tree at the park up the street from my house. knowing my family they just think im next door and will be home later on. Dont worry about me I always go home, not because I have no where else to go. I go home to take care of my grandma, I go home so that I can be strong for my grandma, I go home because...well.. home is just home.

Avatar

So many of you may have heard by now that Avatar is an Awesome movie!!! If you've seen it you know what I mean, if you have seen it and don't know what i mean...then there must be something wrong with you. xP. jkjk. I love this movie because it has everything i love with a movie and a book. Action and Romance. If those two things are in a book/movie, then I am instantly hooked for life. The graphics were amazing, all the technology in the movie is something that any person would want. The characters were unforgettable, the colors, the ideas, just everything was unforgettable!! I could rant on an on about how much i love this movie or maybe I already am. but yea go and watch the movie and make sure you bring a jacket...it was a 2 hour and 40 min movie and I went into the theaters with nothing but T-shirts and Jeans. I love this movie and hopefully you will to =].

behind

I'm so behind on everything and everything. my grades for school are Ok but they could be a lot better if i actually did the classwork and homework. Ive been grounded for a month so I've been going out with my friends, running, talking on the computer like 24/7 and just not staying at home. As of right now I haven't read a book in two weeks I just noticed that and it surprised the shit out of me. lol. I have soo much to be read books everywhere in my room. I have Demon King unread, Covet unread, Deadly little Lies unread, Demons kiss half way through with that and another series that my best friend bought for me since i was sad that I still have not yet read. So this weekend or when the school semester ends I plan to at least read a chapter or entire book.