Getting stronger

I guess with all the bullshit happening around me Im getting stronger. Im not breaking down and running away from my problemds like I did before. Im still bitching and moaning every chance I can get but Im still going to be there for the people I love. Today I went to spend some time with my friend while she had to get radiation. I spent some time with her but then I realized I took a four hour nap on her with out realizing it. She had doodled on my arm a little, put a blanket on me and let me sleep. Does anyone else have a moment like that? where you plan to take care of someone but they end up taking care of you? When she woke me up I decided to go get some ice cream for both of us, I spent 28$ in the cafe buying anything i could get my hands on. As soon as she comes back to the room I offer her some ice cream only to realize that shes lactose intolerant... yeah I fail as a best friend lol. But it got her to laugh and we went to go get some real food after she was done.

I also realized today that one of my best friends has the same kind of cancer my grandma had. It sucked, I cant believe I forgot that small detail. I just felt like I forgot my grandma today a little. But im not gonna be sad and depressed and ignore my best friend because she reminds me of my grandma. Do i want to? hell yeah I do, but I love her too much to do the samething. I will get stronger so that I wont let anyone down like I did with my grandma. Im going to be there every second I can to take care of her and just make her smile.

I like to tell myself that I will make my grandma proud of me. Today I think I did that, I was there for a friend and got her to smile with my stupid mistake. I miss my grandma and will always remember the happy times I had with her. I hope Im making her proud :]