Thursday, February 19, 2009

I HATE my mother, but you shouldnt

So my mom and i are always fighting about something or have yelled at each other at least three times a day. People tell me to apprecitate what I have now cause sooner or later im going to lose it...But its hard to appreciate what I have now, when my mom is yelling at me for everything I do or didnt do... To me my mom is a crazy ass lady, and I say it to her face, she knows she overreacts, but just wont admit it...She pretends to be nice to the other parents to make herself seem like an amazing mother, but she IS NOT! My mother is like a quarter, she has two faces and I get stuck with the side that is a bitch. My mom would rather go to the gym to exercise instead of spending time with my sisters. I dont really care if i dont see her through out the entire day, but my sisters love her way more than I do, so i want her home more for them...
What I noticed with my mom is that shes says shes trying to make us have a better life, but I think that shes using me or my sisters to get the things that she never had in the past. I dont want to have the things that she didnt have. She doesnt want me or my sisters to make the same mistakes as her, but i want and should be able to make my own. I will NOT be her puppet, and neither will my sisters.I think I hate my mother so much because she just does stupid things in her life...I want her to pay more attentions to my sisters than she did to me. I want to be the guinea pig so that she knows what to do to help my sisters out more in life and so that they can be happy. I just dont give a shit to what she thinks about me, I know Im a dissapointment to her and I just dont care anymore. Id rather be happy just being myself and not trying to live up to her expectaions.
I may hate my mother with like 95 percent of my heart, but if you arent me then be happy with what you got...because you can have a big family and millions of friends, but you still only have one person who carried you for nine months, and gave birth to you.