Thursday, February 24, 2011

Getting stronger

I guess with all the bullshit happening around me Im getting stronger. Im not breaking down and running away from my problemds like I did before. Im still bitching and moaning every chance I can get but Im still going to be there for the people I love. Today I went to spend some time with my friend while she had to get radiation. I spent some time with her but then I realized I took a four hour nap on her with out realizing it. She had doodled on my arm a little, put a blanket on me and let me sleep. Does anyone else have a moment like that? where you plan to take care of someone but they end up taking care of you? When she woke me up I decided to go get some ice cream for both of us, I spent 28$ in the cafe buying anything i could get my hands on. As soon as she comes back to the room I offer her some ice cream only to realize that shes lactose intolerant... yeah I fail as a best friend lol. But it got her to laugh and we went to go get some real food after she was done.

I also realized today that one of my best friends has the same kind of cancer my grandma had. It sucked, I cant believe I forgot that small detail. I just felt like I forgot my grandma today a little. But im not gonna be sad and depressed and ignore my best friend because she reminds me of my grandma. Do i want to? hell yeah I do, but I love her too much to do the samething. I will get stronger so that I wont let anyone down like I did with my grandma. Im going to be there every second I can to take care of her and just make her smile.

I like to tell myself that I will make my grandma proud of me. Today I think I did that, I was there for a friend and got her to smile with my stupid mistake. I miss my grandma and will always remember the happy times I had with her. I hope Im making her proud :]

Monday, February 21, 2011

hahahaha yeah fck today

this is my first day in a long while where I dont have work OR school all on the sameday... my mom wakes me up at 7 am to do chores, that didnt bug me. what bugged me is that my two best friends who are girls ditched me for their boyfriends who are both named john... I officially hate the name. Had to plans to go to the beach and then go to a new restraunt to catch up and all...but i get ditched... Oh wells. gonna hang out with my two best guy friends and hopefully we dont get pulled over again tonight... lol so no girls night out but a guys night out plus me xD

Thursday, February 3, 2011

should i?

Once agian I'm in a barnes and nobles typing out another post. I can say Ive read one book this year so far. Kind of sad, I know but I loved the book. Read the fever series by Karen Marie Monning I hope you'll love it like I did.

Anyways, my mom kicked me out of the house again. In the year 2011 Ive been kicked out of the house for doing nothing...Literally. Ive either been busy at school, work, doing homework and trying to have a life, my mom has gotten really mad that Im not at home doing the chores she doesnt want to do. I get that shes mad that she has to go back to doing chores around the house, but really...did she have to kick me out of the house again? at least this time I had my bag with all of my shit in it. I have my wallet, I have my laptop, and I have my apex. So im not complaining that I got kicked out of the house, I have friends who are willing to house me yet again for the next couple of days and I love them for it. No school tomorrow for me :] So im gonna finish as much homework as I can right now and just have an awesome weekend.

I miss my sisters, the only time I see them is in the morning when I drop them off at school. I miss trying to teach my sister to ride my apex, I miss having stupid arguments with my sisters, I miss teasing Kalen for loving Justin Beiber. I miss being a big sister. Work and school are kicking my ass.