I love my family to death even though my mother can drive me crazy, my sisters are annoying, my cousin doesnt lock the door when hes "busy". I love my family to death, but as soon as death may be coming closer to our front door I just want to get away from them. Sometimes I wish my family wouldnt tell me everything thats going on, they always tell me the good the bad and the really ugly. Why cant my entire family be like my mom where she keeps me out of the loop and not in the loop, why cant i handle being around someone who is sick and be happy with the time i have with them now and not be sad of what i might lose. I love the fact that my family knows that i would just sit and listen to what everyone is talking about and can remember most of what they say, I love the fact that to every party I would go to I would meet someone new. Sometimes I wish that I didnt care so much about my family, if i didnt I wouldnt return home to make dinner, or watch my sisters or to even keep my grandma company.
The thing that I wish for everyday is that cancer didnt have to intertwine with my grandmas life. I dont want to be mean or selfish but i wish it had happened to someone else instead of my grandma. The grandma who taught me how to write my S in the right direction, the grandma who taught me how to cook, the grandma who would let me lye down on her stomach until i was asleep. Maybe this is someone elses wish coming true, that cancer didnt come into their families lives and instead came into mine.
I just realized that blogging helps me vent if i dont want to talk to someone directly, though sometimes i wish that I could just tell what I feel to my grandma or to my friends, but I have to wonder what their reactions might be... My friends are great to hang out with, but the friends that i feel would listen to and really listen is someone i dont want to bother. My grandma has a lot on her plate, shes gone through cancer 4 times... I dont know how she does it but man its crazy. Today was probably the worst day, I didnt want to stay home so I went to the mall with friends..and i find out that my grandma was making funeral arrangements for her and my grandpa... Im not ready for her to die, I cant lose her, I know that everyone goes once its their time or when fate is cruel... nothing really bad has ever happened to me before and if i lose her i dont know what will happen to my family or mostly what might happen with me...
So i guess what im thinking most in my head right now is to be carefully what you wish for. I hate that saying because its becoming apart of my life everyday. If you wish for something bad not to happen to you it might happen to someone else... I would never wish for anyone to go through what im going through, and hopefully no one has to. Im gonna stop rambling and just say again be careful what you wish for and that this blog sounds totally emo... XD
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Posted by Kira324 at 12:39 AM
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
I need to delete some things from my computer since i plan to restart it soon to try and fix the stupid thing, and i found a lot of stupid pictures and videos that ive taken of my friends, dont think ive found one of me yet though. =]. There are random videos and pictures i just thought i would love to show.
This is a video of what we did, on a sunday i think and my friend sara is recording the video, me on the ground and my friend Mei Qi(if you cant say it, its may key basically). We're all cardboard slidding and having a stupid time. My other friend sara lin was suppose to come but she woke up at 4 pm when we left like at 12...she was reading manga till like 3 am i think it was. But we forgave her. =]
My friend sleeping in class, she is going to kill me when she sees this post. =]. I always tell her to stay awake in class!!!
Posted by Kira324 at 1:00 AM
Friday, July 24, 2009
I got the demonica series maybe Sunday or Monday and as soon as I finished I instantly loved the entire series!!! Ive read a lot of paranormal romance books in both YA and adult books, and this series is now in the top three for all of the series that I've read! I am completely in love with paranormal romance books now and forever. The Demonica series by Larissa Ione is about three Seminus brothers who have different mothers and the same father, each seminus demon is able to receive some of the gifts that there mother have. Eidolon Seminus demon and Judicial demon, who once served as a protector of peace, but now a doctor and in charge of a hospital. Shade a Seminus with Umber blood who is a paramedic at the hospital with Eidolon. Last but not least Wraith who is a Seminus demon with vampire blood running through his veins, who is the most dangerous and bad ass out of all his brothers. What I found funny was that the hospital name was Underground General Hospital UGH for short. :D Each brother has a special task at the UGH, but as soon as their 100th year arrives that can all change
The first book is called Pleasure Unbound, it was an epic story between Eidolon and Tayla. Tayla was raised to believe that demons should all die, the Aegis is the organization that has raised Tayla to fight and kill the demons taht trouble the earth, but as soon as she meets Eidolon that all starts to change, she is shown that all demons are not born evil and that some are good. Eidolon is torn between on weither or not he should fall for Tayla or kill her before she can kill anyone else of his kind.
Favorite Quote: "The demon is a prince of the air and can transform himself into several shapes, delude our senses for a time; but his power is determined, he may terrify us but not hurt."
remember, a shadow is cast by a light."
Posted by Kira324 at 11:13 PM
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Posted by Kira324 at 4:46 PM
Sunday, July 5, 2009
This is kind of late but these are the books that I read in June, besides school ending and going to the mall and beach with my friends its getting kind of boring here in Hawaii. So I was able to read more books than last month at least
- The Gob Box
- Rick and Bobo
- Strange Angels
- Yume De Aetera
- Midnight Secretary
- My sisters Keeper
- Inner Light: The dragon Within
Posted by Kira324 at 1:17 PM